"That Meeting Was a Waste of Time" vs. "We'll See": Speaking Up in Amsterdam and Mumbai

🇳🇱 Netherlands · 🇮🇳 India

By Priya Mehta, The Global Office

A Dutch colleague will tell you, in the meeting, in front of everyone, that the meeting itself was a waste of time. An Indian colleague will tell you "we'll try to meet the deadline," and mean, quite possibly, that they will not. Both are being perfectly honest by their own culture's rules. Only one of them sounds like it to a stranger.

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Do's & Don'ts

🇳🇱 Netherlands

🇮🇳 India

Dutch meeting culture is built on the assumption that saying what you mean, immediately and without cushioning, is the most respectful thing you can do. Guides to Dutch business culture describe this as a genuine two-way expectation: a manager will tell you directly that your work "needs improvement" rather than softening it, and colleagues will openly say a meeting was a waste of time if they think it was — not as an insult, but as useful information delivered efficiently. This directness sits inside a consensus-oriented process: Dutch decision-making explicitly aims to hear everyone's view before reaching a decision, even though that inclusiveness can slow things down considerably. The flatness of Dutch hierarchy reinforces the whole system — an employee can openly question or push back on a manager's point mid-meeting, and it's read as engagement, not insubordination.

India's meeting culture runs on an almost opposite logic: harmony and hierarchy are protected first, and disagreement is folded carefully into softer language rather than stated outright. Multiple guides to Indian business communication describe how a direct "no" is rare — professionals more often say "we will try," "let me check," or "it may be difficult," phrases that function, once understood, as a polite refusal rather than genuine uncertainty. Hierarchy governs the room literally: the most senior person present is typically greeted first, followed by others in descending seniority, and titles (Mr., Ms., Dr.) remain standard rather than first-name informality. Meetings themselves often require significant advance scheduling — a month or two out for senior leaders — and multiple reconfirmations, and can run long or start late without it being read as disrespectful, particularly when relationship-building small talk about family or well-being takes up real time before business begins.

The Reckoning: Both cultures value honesty; they define it differently. The Dutch treat unfiltered directness as the honest, respectful choice — the information itself is the priority, and softening it is seen as a form of dishonesty. Indian communication treats preserving the relationship and the other person's standing as the more important form of honesty — the "no" is real, it's just wrapped in language designed not to embarrass anyone. Hofstede Insights' power distance dimension is the structural hinge: the Netherlands scores a low 38, which is precisely why blunt, cross-rank pushback in a meeting doesn't damage anyone's standing there, while India scores a high 77, where the same bluntness aimed upward could genuinely be read as a breach of respect rather than useful feedback. The practical irony for anyone moving between the two: a newcomer trained by Dutch directness to trust the words in an Indian meeting will consistently over-read commitment into "we'll try," while a newcomer trained by Indian diplomacy to read between the lines in a Dutch meeting will keep hunting for a hidden meaning that, in the Netherlands, simply isn't there.

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The Part the Brochure Left Out

Quora — Describing examples of Dutch bluntness, one respondent recalled colleagues reacting to a new haircut with "Oh no, what did you do?" and to being locked out of the house with "Well that was stupid!" — offered not as cruelty but as completely unremarkable, in-the-moment honesty that took real recalibration to stop flinching at.

Hacker News — A commenter who had worked with several Indian development teams described a recurring pattern: a consistent "yes" in meetings followed by days or weeks of no visible progress, and eventually realizing the affirmative response had signaled attentiveness in the moment rather than a firm commitment to the timeline discussed.

intoindia.blog — An account of adapting to India's "combination of direct and indirect" culture described the adjustment as learning to listen for what wasn't said as much as what was, noting that a foreign manager who took "we will try to meet your deadline" as a genuine commitment was, more often than not, setting themselves up for a difficult conversation later.

Quora — A separate respondent, asked whether Dutch people get offended by directness among themselves, explained that the discomfort mostly runs the other way: Dutch colleagues report finding it more offputting when someone says "yes" just to be agreeable in the moment, calling it a form of dishonesty rather than politeness.

Conclusion

If you're moving to the Netherlands, take feedback at face value, contribute your honest view regardless of seniority, and don't hunt for a hidden meaning behind directness — there usually isn't one. If you're moving to India, learn to hear "we'll try" as information, invest real time in relationship-building before business, and build schedule buffer around any verbal commitment rather than treating it as fixed. My honest advice, over a drink: in the Netherlands, believe exactly what you're told; in India, listen for what's underneath it.