๐จ๐ฑ Chile ๐ซ๐ฎ Finland
By Suki Nakamura, Out of Office
There is a very specific kind of exhaustion that comes from being invited to a Chilean Sunday asado, and a very different kind of exhaustion that comes from being invited to a Finnish sauna, and I have experienced both within the same fortnight, which I do not recommend, mainly because my liver filed a formal complaint.
Chile treats the weekend as a mandatory extended-family theatre production with a grill as the stage. Finland treats the weekend as a sanctioned withdrawal from society, ideally to a lake, ideally in silence, ideally without your phone. One country wants you fed, loud, and surrounded. The other wants you sweating, quiet, and alone with your thoughts and possibly a birch branch. Both consider their approach the only sane one. Neither is wrong. Suki has opinions anyway.
๐จ๐ฑ Chile
| โ Do | โ Don't |
|---|---|
| Arrive to a Sunday asado with wine, never empty-handed | Don't expect to leave before the meat is fully finished, however long that takes |
| Compliment the choripรกn specifically, not just "the food" | Don't bring up Pinochet unless you enjoy watching a table go silent |
| Learn to nurse one drink over four hours โ it's a marathon, not a sprint | Don't rush the asador โ questioning his grill technique is a personal insult |
๐ซ๐ฎ Finland
| โ Do | โ Don't |
|---|---|
| Accept a sauna invitation as the genuine honour it is | Don't make a big deal about nudity โ nobody else is |
| Bring your own towel to someone's mรถkki, always | Don't fill silences with small talk โ Finns consider comfortable silence a form of intimacy |
| Learn to enjoy a cold lake plunge โ it's the whole point | Don't ask a Finn "what are we doing this weekend" โ the answer is usually "nothing, on purpose" |
The Chilean weekend begins on Friday evening with a text message that is technically an invitation but functionally a summons, and it does not end until Sunday night when the last uncle finally accepts that the asado is over and stops adding more meat to a grill that was declared "finished" ninety minutes ago. This is not a country that does quiet weekends. This is a country where the concept of "just staying home" is treated with the same suspicion as a stranger offering you a lift.
The asado itself โ Chile's answer to every social occasion, grief included โ is less a meal than an endurance event. Someone is always designated asador, and this role carries the gravitas of a minor religious office. You do not touch his tongs. You do not suggest the coals need adjusting. You compliment, you wait, and eventually you are handed meat that took four hours to produce and eleven minutes to disappear. Around this ritual orbits an entire ecosystem of cousins, second cousins, a neighbour who "just popped by" and is clearly staying for six hours, and at least one dog that has appointed itself grill supervisor.
What surprises newcomers most isn't the food, it's the duration. A Chilean Sunday lunch does not conclude โ it dissolves, slowly, into an evening of more wine, someone's guitar, and a debate about football that will outlast the sun. Weekends here are communal by default, and solitude has to be actively defended, usually by lying about a prior commitment that everyone present knows doesn't exist and chooses not to mention.
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Finland's weekend operates on the opposite principle entirely: leisure is something you retreat toward, not something you perform in front of an audience. The mรถkki โ the family lake cabin, which something like half the country either owns or has unrestricted access to โ is the physical manifestation of this. Come Friday, Helsinki empties out toward forests and lakeshores where the primary weekend activity is doing very little, very deliberately, in the company of at most a handful of people you already know extremely well.
The sauna sits at the centre of this, not as an indulgence but as an institution โ a place where social hierarchy briefly suspends itself, where business deals have historically been sealed, and where the etiquette is scrupulously unspoken: strip without comment, sit without small talk, and if there's a lake nearby, you are expected to run into it screaming internally while your face stays composed. Foreigners who treat this as titillating rather than mundane out themselves instantly.
The Finnish weekend's real flex is silence. Where Chile fills every available second with noise, food, and family obligation, Finland treats a two-hour car ride with a friend, spoken to for perhaps four minutes total, as a perfectly successful social outing. Nobody is offended. Nobody fills the gap. This is, depending on your temperament, either the most relaxing thing you'll ever experience or a low-grade existential crisis delivered via birch-scented steam.
Chile's weekend will exhaust you and feed you in equal measure, and you will leave every Sunday slightly drunk, slightly overfed, and genuinely closer to people you didn't know you liked. Finland's weekend will restore you in a way that borders on medical intervention, and you will leave every Sunday calmer, colder, and having said perhaps eleven words aloud. I have more fun in Chile. I recover better in Finland. If forced to choose โ and I am, because that's the format โ I'll take the asado, purely because a country that considers silence a gift has clearly never sat next to my family.
Reddit r/chile โ a commenter paraphrased that declining a Sunday asado invitation twice in a row gets you formally discussed by the family
Reddit r/Finland โ a foreigner paraphrased that they panicked during their first sauna silence before realising nobody was upset, that's just what comfortable feels like
Internations Santiago โ an expat paraphrased that they gained noticeable weight their first six months purely from asado obligation
Two nations, two entirely incompatible theories of rest. Chile believes rest is something you do surrounded by people who love you loudly and feed you constantly. Finland believes rest is something you do in a lake, in silence, ideally shirtless, with someone who has known you since primary school and has nothing to say about it. Try importing either philosophy into the other country and watch it collapse instantly โ a silent Chilean Sunday reads as a family tragedy, a loud Finnish sauna reads as an act of aggression. Pick your weekend, pick your exhaustion, and stop pretending there's a version of leisure that doesn't cost you something.
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Suki Nakamura
Staff writer covering financial markets and corporate strategy. Has strong opinions about spreadsheets.